Middle East Peace

Donald Trump has been laser-focused on winning a Nobel Peace Prize for years. Axios recently called it “an obsession.” Forget medals for bravery or actual diplomacy; Trump wants his golden trophy from Norway, and he wants it now.

Despite famously yelling at Ukrainian President Zelensky and proposing to relocate two million Palestinians to "better housing" like he's running a real estate seminar for refugees, Trump’s team has insisted he’s a shoo-in for the prize. Treasury officials, CPAC speakers, and even his future U.N. ambassador are hyping up his Nobel campaign like it's “The Apprentice: Participation Trophy Edition.”

Trump has been nominated more times than Glenn Close was for an Oscar, and with about the same luck. Let’s hope he doesn’t start boiling bunnies in the Nobel Committee members’ kitchens.

He’s still bitter that Barack Obama won one. Trump said in 2019 that he should get the Nobel "for a lot of things, if they gave it out fairly—which they don't. They gave one to Obama immediately upon his ascent to the presidency, and he had no idea why he got it. ... That was the only thing I agreed with him on."

Now, Trump believes brokering vague Middle East deals and yelling “I deserve it!” in press conferences counts as peacemaking. Meanwhile, the Nobel committee—composed of actual Norwegians who prefer actual diplomacy—is reportedly practicing collective eye-rolls, especially given the recent escalation of violence between Israel and Iran.

Critics say the odds of Trump winning are only slightly better than Charles Manson winning it posthumously, but Trump’s dream lives on. After all, if peace breaks out somewhere, surely that counts, right?

So mark your calendars for October, when the Nobel Committee announces its winners—and Trump once again accuses Scandinavia of rigging the system.